I miss the planes

Life is slowing down all over the planet. People everywhere are being discouraged – even banned from congregating en masse. No going to the footy, no going to movies or the gym, no going out for dinner or out unnecessarily.

Many people are beginning to work from home. Wouldn’t that be great ! I have no job, so I feel like I’m always home lately. My heart goes out to those working in essential services (medicine, health, police, couriers, banking, retail) who can’t work from home. They have to keep going; to take care of us should we need them.

I am concerned that many people are not taking “social distancing” seriously. Going out and about; doing the things we all did without a thought until a few weeks ago. Not just people in the at risk age groups, but young people too.

Remember, you might be taking all the precautions – it doesn’t mean you are invincible. None of us are immune. You might not have any symptoms, but you could still be infected and give it to your grandparent or a friend from BINGO.

The other day I was messaging my niece. Her family, spanning FIVE generations, have agreed to not see each other for at least a month. They don’t even live too far apart from each other in the scheme of things, but they have made this choice to protect each other.

For me, well we share a house so we see each other all the time, but one of us works in health – where exposure to already immune-compromised people makes our hygiene habits critical. But a lot of thought goes into planning a trip to the supermarket to replenish essential supplies (if you can get them – no thanks to the idiot panic buyers and hoarders).

Our borders are closed; only citizens can enter the country. It is the same in many other countries too. I can leave – but I can’t come back. Even if I did leave I would need to go into “self isolation” for 14 days on arrival.

Aside from the measures our governments have made all across the planet in an effort to curb the spread of COVID-19, and the public service announcements we see online, tv and billboards and hear on radio reminding us to wash our hands (still amazed we need to be reminded about this)…what else can we learn ?

We are a social bunch, so some of us will struggle with these new rules. We can still be social though. There are online options for staying in touch with people – you can even PHONE people. Remember when we used to do that all the time; without a thought ?

Being mindful and taking time to reflect have been messages promoted by “alternate” health practitioners to help people take control and help them reclaim some calm amidst the crazy busy lives many of us live. But mindfulness and reflection aren’t “new fangled” things. They have been around forever. You can practice mindfulness yourself. You don’t need to pay someone. It is all about slowing down, taking time, being in the moment, reflecting, relaxing.

While you are working from home, just at home or trying to keep the kids amused, take a few moments for yourself. Listen to the birds, admire the flowers, be transfixed by butterflies dancing, watch the leaves as the breeze tickles them. You can do other things too – go for a walk (fresh air and open spaces are good – even now), bake; but take your time and enjoy the process – it will taste better ! knit, craft, read a book, PLAY with your kids, read to your kids.

Take time to write down and record some of the things which are going on in what seems to be a crazy situation. The world is slowing down, we all have time and we should take advantage. It’s what I am doing – you could just write it in a notebook, a diary, in a word document (like a digital journal) or blog. The problem with our digital online world is that none of us are really sure how anything will be archived, or how information might be accessed in the future. We can go to libraries either in person or online and read old newspapers, some of us are lucky enough to have diaries, journals and letters written by our ancestors. We can glean information from these about how past events like this affected our families. Spanish Flu, World War One, rationing, World War Two, industrialisation, fashion, education, the Depression, exploration across the planet and into space, mining disasters, shipwrecks – it’s all there, but what will we leave ?

All of my genealogy buddies are revelling in this enforced time at home to get on top of filing, tidying resources, checking facts have been correctly cited with source information, RESEARCHING, contacting DNA matches (because we all have time to reply to message now – right ?).

What’s going on in our home ? A spot of gardening, a jigsaw or two, genealogy (duh !) extreme cleaning, reading, baking, catching up on all those tv programmes and movies that we haven’t been able to cram in, applying for jobs (because - never give up), the occasional walk and a bit of just sitting, taking stock and watching the world go by; albeit more slowly now.

What do I hope is going to come out of this ? That we will be better people, that we will care more for each other and our planet. Look at how quickly pollution has decreased – even disappeared – as countries have slowed down and workplaces have closed down; hear the birds now that that industrial noise is quietening, see the water clearing in canals and the sea life once more visible.  The virus is threatening us, but at the same time healing our planet.

I do miss the planes though as our world slows down. It was a bit mindful for me watching them flying overhead returning from a journey or just beginning a new adventure. The sky is empty. The world is getting quieter.

We can do this. Take care of yourself, distance yourself from your loved ones and friends, cherish life, help the planet heal and we will heal too.

STAY HOME.

STAY SAFE.

WASH YOUR HANDS

DON’T GO TO THE SHOPS EVERYDAY.

DON’T HUG or SHAKE HANDS.

PROTECT OUR ELDERLY POPULATION.

PROTECT YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS WITH COMPROMISED HEALTH.

PLAN FOR THE FUTURE.

Milestones and Celebrations

There have been a couple of big ones just recently.

We had a whirlwind trip to join in and make sure everyone felt celebrated.

First there was Mum’s 80^th birthday celebration which was requested to be low key. Birthday fuss isn’t a big thing in our family, but there are some milestones that need to be made a fuss about. We arrived the day before, bearing cake.

On the evening of the day itself we went out for dinner and were joined by other family including a couple of cousins who had journeyed further than us to be part of celebration number two. My cousin’s wife had just had her birthday too, so the celebration was shared which spread out the fussing levels nicely.

We tried to recreate a photo taken for Dad's 80th nine years ago, thank goodness the big trees in Pollard Park protected us from much of the rain falling. Someone had repainted the bridge though and not cleaned it.

The day after her birthday, was Mum and Dad’s 60^th wedding anniversary. Yes, they had got married the day after she turned 20, back in 1958. Taking advantage of the long weekend which falls at that time of the year in New Zealand.

Since it fell in the middle of the week this year a celebration was organised for the following weekend, with friends and family travelling from afar to share the fun. We tried to recreate another photo too, with much hilarity and too many people giving orders. My cousin stood where his Dad stood 60 years ago next to the groom - it was a bit like herding cats.

#52Ancestors, Week 7, Valentine

Valentine’s Day as a celebration hasn’t been a big thing in New Zealand and Australia until probably the last 30-40 years. It definitely wasn’t a “thing” when I was growing up, like it appeared to be on US television programmes we saw. A bit like Halloween, it was one of those odd American celebrations that I used to wonder at, in letters from my penfriends. It is definitely a “thing” now though – very commercial and over the top.

So, where to start for this topic? I looked in my tree for events which had occurred on February 14. There were a few, but they were all for very distant relatives, and mostly long ago.

I did come across someone for whom I don’t know a lot, and I have spent most of the day trying to discover more, to no avail.

Valentine Becker was born in Rüdesheim-am-Rhein, Rheingau-Taunus-Kreis, Hesse, Germany in 1846. He was the first child to Friedrich and Elisabetha Becker. I wonder if he was born on February 14? He soon became an older brother to Emelia and Gertrude and possibly to Friedrich who was born in October 1850. I can’t be sure though until I can locate those records as Valentine died aged 4 sometime in 1850. Two short years later his parents and siblings left their home on the banks of the Rhine and emigrated to Sydney Australia. In all my searching there doesn’t appear to be another Valentine in the tree perpetuating his memory or existence.

But here is another Valentine’s story.

My parents became engaged on Valentine’s Day 1957. My Nana, born in England where Valentine’s Day had been celebrated by the exchange of small tokens of affection or handwritten notes between friends or lovers since the mid eighteenth century, thought it was very apt they had chosen that date. Mum and Dad though were completely unaware of the significance – at the time. It is one of those little facts that is stuck in the recesses of my mind, and just happened to pop into the forefront when I was pondering what to write about this week.

©

#52Stories, Week 36, Fathers' Day

Dad was born in Hamilton. An inland town fast becoming a city. With a lake and a river running through the centre to separate it, east from west.

His grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins from both sides of the family all lived relatively close. If not in Hamilton, in smaller rural towns or on farms in the Waikato area.

He helped build our house, working with the builder after work and at weekends. He and Mum were a great wallpapering team, transforming rooms. Dad is very precise and has a strong attention to detail, so pattern matching was thorough and always perfect. Symmetry is key.

Dad went to computer programming classes at night school. Back when computers were so large they filled a room, and you had to feed punch cards into them which contained coded messages hidden in the binary numbers row upon row. Who knew that would catch on ?

He built a stereo too, importing all the little bits (fuses, valves and little transistory circuit things) to solder together in the right order and places. Speakers too, including building the speaker boxes.

There was always a good vege garden to be cared for and lots of lawn to mow. A little less once the double garage was built in place of the old toolshed and lean-to.

Dad liked gem collecting too and many holidays and weekends we went searching for rocks. He always talked about wanting to be able to polish them smooth, but that didn’t eventuate. I think this fascination with rock must be in his blood – passed down from those first settlers who went goldmining in the Coromandel.

Dad was also a stamp collector, we used to help with this. Carefully tearing the stamps from the corner of the envelopes and soaking them with water so that the stamp could be separated from the envelope and then leaving them to dry face down – ready to go in to an album.

He also loves astronomy – not astrology. I remember watching the moon landing on the tv early one morning. It seemed incomprehensible that people were actually in space, on the moon. Now they stay for months at a time in the International Space Station and fly over us at least once a day ! Dad started to build his own telescope, something that began with a thick chunk of glass cut in a circle, which needed to be ground to become concave. That seemed like a neverending task to me. Planetarium meetings and running sessions for the public kept him busy too. Committee meetings negotiating for premises in Harris Street and then starting again when the council decided to expand the library and carpark and take back the building and land. That move took them to the top of the cable car in the Botanic Gardens, where the Planetarium is still located.

Later, much like the stereo, he and some friends began to build their own home computers. The Commodore 64 came along though, and the home made version went on the back burner.

Dad was always calm and didn’t seem to lose his temper very often, he likes to do crosswords and read. These days Suduko have become a favourite pastime as well.

Genealogy is still an interest today. Search methods have changed from the way they were though, so much is available online. Although you can still go and search old and original records, not so much time is spent in library reading rooms anymore.

He’s a great story teller too, he would read to us at night – a chapter or two from whatever was the current novel we were reading. Or he would tell stories about when he was little and the adventures they would get up to. The eclipse of the sun, finding the teeny rabbit by the railway tracks, so small he fit in a tea cup and more.

As a grandfather too, he would read stories, putting on voices for each character in Goodnight Owl and the BFG – among others.

He’s a great Dad ! All wired up and techy; emailing, texting, whatsapping, skyping - you name it. I hope we are as on to it and willing to try new things too.

#52Stories, Week 19, Mothers' Day

Mum was born in Kurow. The little town that had founded a support system for it's community which became the basis for our Social Welfare system. Where if you didn’t dig the carrots before the first frost, you might as well leave them in the ground until spring – because you would never get a spade into the frozen earth.

The family moved around a lot since Granddad worked with what became State Hydro, in the construction of hydro power stations. Waitaki, Highbank, Mangahao, Maraetai, Whakamaru. But actually looking back, the time spent at Waitaki, the station with it's aesthetically pleasing curved dam across the Waitaki River, near Kurow, was one of the longest. About ten years all up.

Reflecting back on my childhood for this topic - Mothers' Day - I have been thinking about things.

Mum went to floral art and pottery classes at night school when we were kids. She sewed (and sometimes un-sewed in frustration), she knitted and taught me to knit too. Patiently stopping whatever she was doing to pick up all my dropped stitches and getting me back on the right track - for a couple more rows until she had to repeat the process.

Mum loves to read, and if it is a good book don't try to talk to her. She will be in another world, absorbed with story. Oblivious to anything else she might need to be doing - like cooking dinner. Reading, like jigsaws, often resulted in burnt dinners, or dinner not even being started...and fish & chips instead !

She's very determined - she says it is a middle child thing. But once her mind is made up, that is the way things are going to be and woe betide anyone or anything that tries to say or do otherwise. She is a tad impatient too. If things aren't happening quickly enough, or going to the plan - she will be there tweaking things and hurrying them up, to get the desired outcome.

Like deciding to wallpaper their bedroom one day by herself because she was tired of waiting. The wallpaper was a thinner paper than normal and didn't like the extra weight of glue. It kept pulling itself apart from the corners and falling to the floor before it could be stuck to the wall ! But not even something as frustrating and inanimate as unco-operative wallpaper was going to beat her.

Or going to the bank to withdraw the housekeeping money when Dad had been paid (in the days before computers and simple banking) to find that the Government pay run had been delayed. That bank manager must have shaken in his boots every time that happened and he saw Mum enter his building.

To keep us all on our toes, she used to reorganise the contents of all of the cupboards while we were at school. We'd come home and discover that the glasses & crockery or the food wasn't where it had been the day before. Or she would rearrange all the furniture about. That still happens !!

Life seemed so simple. Mum was quite relaxed about things - even the incessant bee stings we would get from that bee & bucket game we made up. We would wait until the grass was long with lots of clover and daisies, get a small bucket (sandcastle size) and invert it over a flower with a bee on it. Then dare each other to remove it and free the angry bee ! When the inevitable happened Mum would just produce a wet blue bag from somewhere (what were those ?) remove the sting, place the bag onto the wound and so "it serves you right".

That go-getter attitude can be a bit frustrating at times. Like when she mentions that she has seen something she would quite like, and you think to yourself "Now there is a good idea for a present". But she just goes ahead and buys it herself, because "why not ?"

She's a great Mum, my Mum. Interested in all sorts of things and with so much going on. I hope we have had some of those go-getter qualities and drive instilled in us too.

     

#52Stories, Week 13, If you could make a good living doing the one thing you love most in the world, what would it be ?

Well, I think being a family research detective might just be my dream job

Anyone got any contacts at Ancestry.com ? Familysearch.org ? FindMyPast.co.uk ? Heir Hunters ? I'd move to Utah quick as you could blink, or Sydney, or London or New York or LA - anywhere they have an office.

I've been thinking about jumping into this market for a few years now - since I have had some mind blowing breakthroughs in my own family research. I have also helped some friends find out about their families too, in New Zealand, Australia and England. 

I love poring through records deciphering handwriting from the past. Admittedly it would be great to view the originals, but the many records which are now available online are just as easy to read. On the plus side I can do it from the comfort of home and save money on travel to the other side of the world.

Saying that though, travel and family history research - combining the two would just improve my job satisfaction level exponentially.

Part of my failed plan to relocate to the UK a few years back was to set myself up there to help folk back on this side of the world with research, headstone hunting, village exploring. Putting the flesh on the bones of our ancestors. Names and dates are one thing, finding where they lived and how they lived just brings them closer. Maybe I will get another shot at that before I am too old and decrepit. 

If you are keen to get started let me know, maybe I can help. If you have already started but got stuck...let me know. I love a challenge. I think I should have been a detective.

Anyway, to really get paid work in this field you need to have some qualifications, it seems. Thirty years of doing it yourself doesn't appear to count for too much. With this in mind I am looking to enrol in a diploma which is available in Australia.

I'll keep you updated with developments !

#52Stories, Week 10, Do you know the story of how your parents met and fell in love ? What about your grandparents ?

I know that Dad met Mum when he was working at Whakamaru or Maraetai and living in the single men's quarters, Mum was still at high school in Mangakino. Before she left home to study nursing and while he was still studying engineering - working in construction of hydro stations on the Waikato river.

What about the next generation back ? Why didn't I ask this question years ago ?? 

My maternal grandparents must have met in Christchurch somewhere. My Uncle thought they had met at Coleridge hydro power station when it was under going a construction expansion; that Nana was working at the hostel and Grandad was living in the single men's quarters. Mum thought that Nana had worked at a dentist surgery in Christchurch before she married.

Their wedding certificate gives their addresses as Merivale and Riccarton. Grandad's parents lived in Middleton Road Riccarton, so I know that part is right.

Nana had only arrived in New Zealand on November 1st, 1929. She arrived in Auckland and travelled by train then ferry and another train to Greymouth on the West Coast where her sister and husband had settled after arriving in New Zealand in 1926, and where there was a now baby niece to get acquainted with.

So at some point before December 1931 she must have moved back to Christchurch for employment. Grandad was a Fitter, he had completed his apprenticeship with P & D Duncan Ltd in Christchurch. Did they simply meet on the tram ? Merivale and Riccarton aren't that far apart. At a dance ? at church ? or at the dentist ? or did Nana know someone who knew the family ? Mum says he was in a band and played xylophone and maybe sax too, all his siblings played instruments as well...I guess we will just have to keep supposing now though.

As for my paternal grandparents - same thing. 

Nana worked for a time as a waitress in Auckland while she studied shorthand typing at night school. She later worked for Ellis & Burnand in Hamilton. Her sister Maude worked at the Central Waikato Electric Power Board. So did Pop. Did Maude introduce them ? Or again did they meet at a dance, or church ? 

Both of their families lived in Hamilton East. There were also lots of people in the timber trade in both families; builders and saw-millers. Did they meet by chance that way through relatives doing business together ? or through Nana's work at Ellis & Burnand ? More supposing to do.

Some people keep diaries. I used to, now I blog intermittently. Nana Davys did, but I don't think we will find anything in any of them to solve this question. But wouldn't it be grand if we could uncover these facts 

"April 1, met someone today. He seems kind and thoughtful, just the sort of person I hope I will marry one day."

But no.

For generations further back there are stories about how some met, others can be pieced together through census locations and social times. But we will never know for sure.

The lesson here is to ask while you still can. Record the answers and tell others your own story and theirs to pass on and enrich the history of your family for the next generations.

History is not just in the distant past, it is yesterday. What you do today will be history tomorrow. Somebody some time in the future will be interested in our lives too, and what we did, and how we interacted with each other. How the global or local events impacted our lives.