Where to from here ?

So, it’s been six months and it is looking like Bendigo isn’t all that it seemed, or that I had hoped.

Admittedly even at the outset, it did feel as if the job market was smaller and slower than other potential destinations, but I didn’t expect that it would be this small, insular or nepotistic. I’ve lost count of how many roles I have applied for, but can count the interviews on one hand.

I have started applying further afield, not quite in Melbourne, but closer. Having no car is a bit of a pain – just for the impulsivity and convenience more than anything. Public transport takes about the same time to get places anyway. On the plus side, all the walking is doing me good healthwise.

Now, it is back to that catch-22 – move and hope someone will rent me a property while still looking for work, or travel back and forth to interviews; get the job and THEN find somewhere to live. What is that ABBA song ?

Meanwhile, I still really LIKE Bendigo – even if the heat takes all the fun out of enjoying the outdoors right now. It is such a walkable little city, filled with parks and ancient trees, birdlife and other creatures, community events…

On the other hand, the little city which is trying to promote itself as the place to be in regional Victoria is struggling to keep retailers in town. So many stores have become empty since we arrived. Planning for the future and sustainability sounds optimistic, but seeing anything come of it seems like it is a l-o-n-g way off. Home building is exploding – but the house market seems sluggish too. Almost like development for development’s sake, and the buy in regional Victoria housing assistance schemes don’t seem like such a great deal if there is no work to be had.

SO frustrating because I could really make a home for myself here. Maybe in another life.

2018 I have hopes that you will be better than 2017 – so far, not convinced. Already, plans to make a trip back to NZ early this year have been shelved. (Anyone know anyone looking for Ed Sheeran tickets in Dunedin ?)

In other news, if I can sell said concert tickets I will be able to pay (and start) the 4^th unit in my Diploma. Almost halfway ! If everything else comes together, the earliest I could graduate is December 2018 ! Now that is something I hadn’t quite anticipated.

Sadness and maddening indecision

Well people, it seems that the dream is about to end. We have had a couple of weeks of real ups and downs, of not knowing if we are doing the right thing or the wrong thing, wanting SO much to stay but being so tense about dwindling finances and apprehensions.

Lauren was offered a role in a lovely wee town which we both loved, but the job description highlighted a few uncertainties since the scope of the role was vastly different to the role we know at home. Also they were really pressurising about having to have an address by the end of the week so that they could run a DBS check on her, and employment for the past five years and as well as work referees they wanted to have referees from her places of study. All this with no actual start date confirmed, and for a care assistant - not even a nursing role.

Then, we found a great flat - but the letting agent wasn't the most communicative and left us unsure whether we would be able to get the tenancy because we weren't able to complete the reference check form entirely. We said we could pay in advance to secure it and even then he wasn't very forthcoming. we spent a very stressful, tense weekend waiting to hear from him - which we didn't. When I phoned on Monday it seemed it was all ok - but he still didn't really say that without some investigative questions. 

The flat was unfurnished so all the"extra" money involved to just get mattresses and bits and pieces started mounting up in my mind. Lauren was still unsure about the job and then I got an interview for a role in Ipswich....so then we'd need a car as well since the buses aren't great from Framlingham. As it happens I missed out on the job - didn't get to interview #3. But by then all the uncertainties had really started mounting up. what if neither of us got roles, or we needed to buy a car, or we ran out of money and were unable to pay the next lump sum of rent...

I haven't been the easiest person to live with this last week and I'm surprised Lauren has hung around without completely losing her cool with me. I've been moody and teary, and changed my mind over and over again.

We stopped this morning on the way to Ipswich with some boxes which are heading home with excess kilos to take photos of this sunflower farm - near where we almost lived as we've meant to stop every time we drove past.

Maybe they will cheer me up a bit - and make the post seem not quite so depressing as it feels.