#52Ancestors, Strong Woman

I’ve searched and searched and racked my brain (and the brain of others) in my endeavour to find a subject for this topic. In 2018 I hinted at some women in my tree and the tough decisions some had made in their lives, some who overcame difficult situations and others who stood up to be counted for something they believed in.

So this time had to be different. I looked for people with the Strong surname – none. I’m pretty sure there are no women weightlifters or circus people hiding on a yet unexplored branch of the tree either.

So, what makes you strong ?

One person’s strength is not the same as another – even if the two are as close as sisters. Is the sister who bid farewell to all that was familiar to her and followed her husband to the other side of the world to make a new life with better opportunities for her children stronger than her sister who stayed and lived in the same village as generations had before her ?

Everybody’s journey is unique and the events we experience shape us; the way we respond to them defines us.

Caroline Ann Cooper is someone in my family who I think was a pretty strong woman. She strikes me as a resilient, strong woman to have carried on despite the adversities she faced.

Things started out great, she was born in Wellington, New Zealand on 23 January 1861, the 6^th child for John Cooper a tailor and his wife Mary Ann. By the time her younger sister Emma was born 20 months later, her family had left Wellington and relocated to Kekerengu, north of Kaikoura on the east coast of South Island where her grandmother and several of her mother’s brothers and sisters had also moved. A few short years later when she was about 10, the family had moved south into the township of Kaikoura where the youngest three of her siblings were born.

When she was about fifteen her mother left, taking the three youngest children with her to Australia. By that time two of her sisters had married and started their own families so I imagine it would have been expected that Caroline would assume some of the responsibilities, along with her eldest sister, of caring for the younger children and their father. In September 1879 her eldest sister Charlotte died aged 28.

Tom Cooke and his cousin William emigrated in the mid 1870’s first to the West Coast before settling in Kaikoura. They were both in the building trade. My great grandfather is said to have been apprenticed to him. William was a painter and ironmonger, operating a hardware store and offering employing to locals. He also left a legacy to the youth of Kaikoura – but that might be another story.

In April 1881 Caroline and Tom were married. Their first child and only son Thomas, arrived three months later. Three daughters followed, the youngest in 1887.

Something went awry though; in 1891 Tom appears on the UK census…and he is on every subsequent UK census until his death in 1926. Caroline remained in Kaikoura and raised her children, I guess with some support from her family, perhaps also from Tom’s cousin William.

In 1902 her son Thomas married in Wellington where it is thought he had been living and working for some time, then her eldest daughter married in Waiau in 1904. In 1905 her middle daughter, Flora, died aged 20. In about 1912 ahead of the outbreak of World War 1 Thomas left Wellington, taking his family to Melbourne Australia where he continued to work as a builder later enlisting with the Australian Imperial Forces.

He did not return, dying at Pozieres in July 1916 and posthumously being awarded the Victoria Cross. A memorial brass tablet commemorating his heroism was unveiled at Kaikoura School, a gold necklet with an engraved Maltese Cross was presented to Caroline and a war memorial was erected to remember him and the other Kaikoura boys.

In April 1918 Caroline’s youngest daughter, Ethel, died after an operation at Christchurch Hospital. In November of the same year her eldest daughter, Catherine, was a victim of the “Spanish Flu” leaving seven children aged between 5 and 14 years.

A small notice appeared in the Marlborough Express, 3 December 1918

The death occurred at Waiau on Nov. 25th of Mrs Catherine Oldman, wife of Mr C.A Oldman, at the age of 35. The deceased was the only surviving member of Mrs C Cooke's family (Kaikoura) who has lost her three other children, including Private Thomas Cooke, who won the Victoria Cross whilst doing his duty to the Empire.

Caroline’s cottage on Brighton Street, Kaikoura was one of three which burnt down in the early hours of 27 June 1935. All her furniture except a piano was saved, the other two cottage occupants weren’t so lucky. Her home was rebuilt and is described in her estate sale as being 5 years old, a three roomed cottage with a bathroom, sunporch and detached washhouse.

After her death on 11 January 1941 just a few days short of her 80^th birthday, Caroline was buried in the Kaikoura Cemetery and her home, furniture and belongings were auctioned as part of estate.