I’m pretty sure there would have been conflicts over
marriage partners, or children born out of wedlock. Many will have felt
conflicted when leaving the village and all they had known, to emigrate to the
other side of the world. Their parents and remaining family too would have been
conflicted at their departure, while trying to understand or accept their
motives. Or maybe a conflict was the catalyst for them to leave in the first place. Others will have been conflicted about their sons, husbands or
brothers signing up to take part in a much larger conflict – fighting a battle
that wasn’t personal.
Did they get annoyed when each of their siblings and
cousins named their children the same names that they had chosen for their own
? I know I would feel a bit annoyed – but then, we are a lot more imaginative
with our naming conventions now, so the chances are less likely.
Growing up the only conflicts I remember in our house were
the battle to get me to eat peas, and the arguments about who was going to wash
and who was going to dry the dishes. We each had our own bedroom, so there was
no conflict about space and dividing the room down the middle which some of my
friends endured. I do remember witnessing Mum giving the bank manager a telling
off over Dad’s pay not being processed on time though.
We all handle conflict differently though. Some of us are
explosive, others just shut down and say nothing or withdraw from the situation,
then there are those of us who quietly fume under our skin which can’t be great
for our blood pressure. Sometimes we mull over all the scenarios; lodge
complaints, plan what we should say, and endeavour to manage our reactions.
Some of us are control freaks and things outside our
control cause all sorts of internal conflict for us. Others are planners, list
makers and when we need to deal with last minute people we can get quite testy.
Yet others just cruise along and all the drama washes over them as they carry
calmly along their way.
Which one are you ?
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