Week 1 (Jan. 1-7): Family Lore

Lore: /lɔː/

noun

a body of traditions and knowledge on a subject or held by a particular group, typically passed from person to person by word of mouth.

"the jinns of Arabian lore"

Family folklore is the study and use of folklore and traditional culture transmitted within an individual family group. This includes craft goods produced by family members or memorabilia that have been saved as reminders of family events. It includes family photos, photo albums, along with bundles of other pages held for posterity such as certificates, letters, journals, notes, and shopping lists. Family sayings and stories which recount true events are retold as a means of maintaining a common family identity. Family customs are performed, modified, sometimes forgotten, created or resurrected with great frequency. Each time the result is to define and solidify the perception of the family as unique.

The study of family folklore is distinct from genealogy or family history. Instead of focusing on historical dates, locations and verifiable events, this area of study looks at the unique stories, customs, and handicrafts that define the family as a distinct social group.

With thanks to the Oxford Dictionary and Wikipedia for helping to define but not really clarifying the topic for me. The prompt for this week is:

Many of us have heard stories from our grandparents about incredible feats our ancestors did or a famous person we're related to. What's a tale that has been passed down in your family? Did it end up being true or did it turn out to just be a good story? 

So, there have been a few stories passed down, and as in many families some are true, some are fabricated and some are based on a truth but have been embellished over time – although not quite tall tales.

• “Davys is a Welsh name.”
• “Somebody changed their name after the Monmouth rebellion.”
• “One of great grandad’s brothers was the first soft drink manufacturer in Wellington, another brother founded Cooper’s Seeds.”
• “Great great grandfather Laney was the first baker in Nelson.”
• “My mother’s people came from the Black Country.”
• “Timms are ten a penny.”
• “Rosina Buckman the opera singer is a cousin.”
• Great grandma died when the children were young and he needed to find a wet nurse.”
• “My grandad’s mother left and took 2 children to Australia. He always said he was about nine years old. Many years later a man came to visit and said he was a nephew.”
• “Grandad built the Post Office in Levin.”
• “A cousin of Granny Davys was the founder of the company which became AVON.”
• “Five times great grandfather was the Lord of the Manor.”
• Great great grandfather spent time in Ireland carrying out the ordinance survey.”
• “Great uncle Walter was a gold miner in Western Australia.”
• “Grandad’s 2^nd cousin founded the YMCA.”
• “One day, we had been to Ninety Mile Beach and I was in the car – a Ford Beauty – with Grandma and Grandad when we realised my Mum and Dad were not behind us. We had to go back, and they were stuck in the sand.”
• “Grandma had a pet magpie which was a bit vicious and sometimes you would get stuck at the outhouse and have to use the wooden lid as a shield to return to the house.”
• “One night when we were staying at Grandma’s the bed that Mum and my sister were sleeping in collapsed and they landed on the floor.”
• “We played in wide open fields unsupervised, although there was a fenced off area we called “the Keep Out” (because there was a sign). It was in this expanse that we found tiny black rabbit near the railway embankment and took him home to keep.”
• “The bus couldn’t go down the hill so we would get dropped at the top and then throw our school bags ahead of us and slide to the bottom on cabbage tree leaves. Our mothers used to wonder at the state of our clothes.”

Have you heard any of these ones before? Do you want to know more? Do you know any others?

I am sure there are many more.

#52Stories, Week 50, Which of your childhood holiday traditions have you carried on into adulthood. What new traditions have you started ?

Making a fruit cake is the obvious tradition which I have continued. (Although it has been missing the last couple of years since I became a bit of a gypsy.)

I still send cards each year, not as many as I did once. Not because there are less people to send to; more that I make my own and lack of organisation often means I run out of time. It is also more costly these days as postal services struggle to run their businesses. But as connected as I am on the web, I still believe in snail mail. If we all give up and don’t use it – it will be lost forever. (In New Zealand anyway. Other countries who complain about their services still have effective services operating today. Don’t get me started on the indefinite amount of time it takes to send and receive mail on three teeny islands.)

So, making cards is a new thing and there have been many different designs over the years (I just found about 15 or 16 years of photos !).

Packaging. This has become a real part of the process for me. The thought which goes into the gift and then the presentation.

Writing a Christmas newsletter to update friends and family of the happenings during the year.

Decorating with a theme. This too has gone a bit by the by since moving around more. White tree/Red & green tree/Gold tree/Silver tree/Red & white tree

I have a bit of a thing about snowmen – like Frosty who I made some years ago.

I have a couple of other snowman ornaments packed away. I like penguins too – not so many of those ornaments though. Santas too – big fat round ones, tall skinny wizardy looking ones; and then houses. “Claire’s Card Shop” which was given to me one year as well as a gingerbread house and others lit by led lights run on batteries.

Then there is bunting – nowhere really to put this up this year so it is safely in a box with the others waiting for “one day” to arrive.

Carols by candlelight, or just carols in the park. One thing I miss from Wellington is the Onslow Brass Band. They would walk around the streets, stop at intervals and play carols, collecting for charity at the same time. Hearing the strains of a carol played across the valley or at the bottom of the drive always had that “feelgood feeling”. Like Christmas really is here.

Going to church for Christmas Eve carols, sometimes going to the same church each year, other times going somewhere else, a new faith or a church in a different suburb.

Checking out the Christmas light displays. This probably started when we lived in Hamilton when Lauren was 2 or 3 and we went to the lights at the Temple in Tuhikaramea. Lots of late night driving to streets and suburbs far afield ensued. Sometimes we’d go after the Christmas Eve church service as well. This year, no car, so it will depend how far we need to walk.

Some traditions have gone for now; retired – letters from Santa, snowy footprints under the tree, cookies and milk left on a table and water outside for the reindeer.

#52Stories, Week 49, What were some of your favourite holiday traditions from childhood ? How far back do these traditions go - to your parents or grandparents' generation or even beyond ?

For these traditions I am sticking with Christmas. Apart from Easter there aren’t really other specific holidays that we celebrated growing up in New Zealand, unlike Thanksgiving or Independence Day in the States.

Making a fruit cake seems to have been something which has happened every year. Standing on a chair, stirring (with a bit of help sometimes), making a wish. I remember helping Nana and Mum, and then I remember Lauren helping them both – and me, in later years.

Where did that start ? Did Granny Fuller make them as well, and so my Nana continued that tradition and passed it on to some of us ?

We used to get an orange or another piece of fruit in our stockings from Nana and Granddad – never coal though, so that was good.

The postie used to deliver masses of Christmas cards from friends and family all over the country and some even in other parts of the world. Some of these came with notes about what had happened during the year on the inside, others came with handwritten letters.

Thank you boxes of chocolate or similar were left in the letterbox for the milkman - and maybe for the postie too ?

Making crepe paper streamers and paper chains to decorate our bedrooms or the tree.

Decorating the tree – I remember some years having a biggish tree inside propped up in a bucket. We would go with a trailer to collect it from somewhere – a forest? someone’s farm? At some point though a small tree was bought and grown in a pot to come inside each year…then came the artificial ones; and no more hayfever from the pine smell.

We would leave a pillowcase on our beds on Christmas Eve and when we woke up – voila ! No idea how Santa got inside filled up the "sack" and back out so quietly.

Some part of Christmas Day would normally be spent with cousins, and grandparents at one house or another - or on holiday somewhere. One year, in the snow at Milford Sound !

#52Stories, Week 41, What were the faith and religious traditions of your ancestors ? How did those traditions influence the course of their lives and by extension, your life today ?

One thing about family history research – you get to read all sorts of church records. In English, often badly written. In Latin, trying to remember those lessons from college (Latin is a language as dead as dead can be, first it killed the Romans and now it’s killing me) In French, same thing.

So faith and religious traditions of my ancestors ?

Originally I guess they were Pagan. Eventually they'd all have been Catholic – who wouldn’t be ? The desire to stay alive was probably a big influencer for that choice. Then came the reformation – and for the same reasons that they hadn’t dared to stray from the path before – they switched.

Some though were Protestant in defiance of the “norm”. They were Huguenots, persecuted in France and Belgium and exiled themselves to England from the mid 1500’s. They settled in the Spitalfields area of London and carried on their trade as silk weavers, attending L’Église Protestante Française on Threadneedle Street.

Eventually though all branches on the tree seem to have become members of the established church – the Church of England.

Over time some left, following other protestant evangelists, but many still bound to the established church for ceremonies. Inspired by alternative ideals they joined the Salvation Army, the Latter Day Saints or becoming Methodist, Primitive Methodist, Presbyterian, Baptist.

Some were heavily involved with the faith that they chose and followed.

Henry James, great great great grandfather was a lay preacher at his Primitive Methodist chapel in Dudley.

John Daniels, brother of my great great grandmother left Wiltshire with his family to settle in Utah. His eldest daughter Mary married Jesse Gardiner in 1873. He had returned from Utah with other Elders in 1872 to preach the gospel on the Bristol Conference. Mary later contested his will after their marriage was declared illegal when the church changed its stance on polygamous marriage.

Julius Horskins, first cousin of my great grandfather joined the Salvation Army after attending meetings near his home in Notting Hill as a 12 year old. He went on to work in the West Indies, Costa Rica, India, South Africa and became Commissioner of Australia and New Zealand.

Thomas Morrison, first cousin of my grandmother, born in New Zealand to immigrant parents. Joined the Mormon church and sailed with fellow congregationalists to San Francisco and travelled to Utah where he raised his families and established a well known business - Morrisons Pies.

Violet Timms, sister of my grandmother, joined the Baptist Church and trained as a missionary to serve in India.

#52Stories, Week 40, What was life like growing up, who did the chores, what were meal times like ?

Well, the boxes have arrived, but I've not been able to find that list I made back in July of blog topics to keep me busy and catch up. I think I am almost on track - I just have to count to be sure that today is the 40th Sunday of the year...or maybe that was last week.

I did have something else in mind for this week, but I was reading Kim Wolterman's blog posts as part of this challenge tonight and she had a couple which I thought seemed interesting. So I have combined them into one.

Life pretty much ran like clockwork, following a routine set by Mum and Dad - and probably learned from their parents and adapted to suit each other.

Mum did most chores in the house and Dad did the outside ones - until we were old enough to start helping out. So washing, cooking cleaning, vacuuming were Mum's domain and lawns, rubbish and gardening were Dad's. Other things like putting out the milk bottles and dishes were shared - until they became ours to do. They were also a great team when it came to planning and transforming the garden or redecorating. Wallpaperers extraordinaire - a real production line process.

Mum organised the shopping too. She'd phone the butcher and place an order to last a week - and he would deliver it all in his little van. If we had a car - sometimes we would go and collect it instead. Groceries mostly were from the Four Square at Five Cross Roads - where McDonalds is now. A lot of time was spent waiting, waiting, waiting on our behalf while Mum chatted with Bubbles and Digger (the owners, and only staff members I ever saw there). I wonder what their real names were. Last name Morris i think because it was called the Morris Building from memory. Fruit and veges came from the greengrocer over the road - and if we were good we might get a treat from Gailer's to take home (cream cakes and pastries !)

Meal times were all around the table with our best table manners. No elbows, eating everything on our plates - even the PEAS ! Even if it took until bedtime ! We had a jar too that we were meant to put 2 cents into if we said "Eh".

Breakfast too was everyone together to start the day. Big breakfasts as well. Mum would say it didn't matter then if we didn't eat our lunches - she knew we had had a monster meal to start the day. Cereal plus egg on toast , toast as well sometimes and juice to drink.

Both meals were great opportunities to share plans for the day, and later reflect on what had happened.

I've not been so good at keeping that tradition myself. Initially I did try, but lack of space, lack of furniture and busy lifestyles - eating on our laps became our thing. Still together though and still talking about our day. I do miss that. Maybe I will get it back very soon. It is in my plan.

#52Stories, Week 22, A fascination with names

This is a topic I made up because I couldn't find one to suit in the list for this week. 

Names, and the fascination of them. 

Is there a name for that ? Surely there must be.

For as long as I can remember I have liked names. Why do we have the names we have ? What influenced our parents to make the choices they did ?

I remember spending my pocket money on little books filled with names, their origins and meaning. They were great for all of the stories I wrote – offering options for character names other than Susan, Mary, Jane etc.

When Dad began doing family research that provided a whole new source and something a bit different to focus on. Discovering the names of aunts, uncles, grandparents and their siblings, and the generations before them as well.

Why did some use their middle Christian name as their preferred name – and why did some alternate throughout their lives. Where did nicknames and diminutives come from ? Why did they just stick with the same names ? I had books with 2500+ to choose from – but mostly the family tree was filled with Mary, Elizabeth, Anne and Sarah & for the boys James, Thomas, Francis, William and John.

Occasionally though there were bursts of originality; Peternell, Kerrenhappuch, Hephzibar, Roxillanna, Zenobia,

I would look for trends for instance when flower names seemed popular, or gemstones. How many Ruby, Beryl, Jade and Pearl were there ? And why not Sapphire; is Garnet a boy’s name or a girl’s ? Or Violet, Daisy, Lily and Rose – what about Magnolia ?

Boy’s names don’t seem to follow the same sort of trends, until more recently. Saint’s names, family names, homage to royalty or clans, sportspeople.

The trends were obvious at school. So many Mark's, Craig's and Steven's; Debra's, Donna's and Susan's in my classes.

How did anyone ever keep track of each other at family gatherings when there might have been a father named James, for his father and several other younger James' possibly children of James' brothers - all named for their grandfather, and then cousins sharing other family names; John, Francis, Mary, Ann, Elizabeth. Were they Jimmy, Jamie, James, Jim or did they have different nicknames ? Little Jim, Jim-Bob (if they were lucky enough to have a second Christian name).

Some names are used infrequently, are they the ones that were popular just at that time perhaps. Others have me really intrigued about why they are repeated through generations. 

Some parents gave their children the names of church leaders, or presidents  - George Washington and Benjamin Franklin; Bramwell; and possibly even godparents - Elizabeth Ginder.

What was so special about the first person to have a particular name, that inspired others to name their children with the same combination and for others to introduce mutations of the original over time. Minnie Mildred appears as a combination in one branch SIX times, sometimes with a surname added as an extra christian name to further point to the original bearer of the name. Plus there are two more who dropped Minnie but kept the surnames. Maybe there is another Minnie or Mildred further back who I haven't discovered yet, who was the inspiration.

Christmas-time, Mistletoe and Wine...

In the rush to Christmas I have been a little remiss on this front again.

This is my favourite time of year, holidays, traditions, craft, packaging, hunting for the right gift, food. But I wasn't so organised as I would have liked to be, people - if they were lucky - got store bought cards this year. I just couldn't get motivated to get crafty in time this year, My mind has been focused on other matters when I should have been planning. 

Oh well.

There were Christmas lights to hunt out again. We found a few locally, but there was a lot of driving for not too much reward. One little cul-de-sac though had almost every house taking part. Some with just a string or two of lights, others all out - snow foam machines, piped music and all manner of lights. Franklin Rd was a wonder again this year. Residents of some side streets joining in too. I wonder if it is a clause on the house sale/rental agreement that they MUST participate. You couldn't be the Grinch and live there.

Typically, as soon as work finished for the year I wanted to do more - bake and ice cakes, make thing. But with just one day (Christmas Eve) between finishing work and the big day, it just couldn't happen.

Food though, had been planned, and we ate well.

Beginning on the last day of work when some of us ordered lunches from Eat My Lunch which is a fairly new local business with a heart. A social enterprise giving back to the community. Much like many that we found and embraced while on holiday in the States earlier this year. Delicious too.

Lauren is working through (again) but didn't want to miss out on the cooking so she planned a Christmas Eve feast, as well as Boxing Day dinner and I looked after Christmas Day. Everything turned out well.

 Crunchy Apple and Cheese nibbles

Homemade Butter beer - just like Harry Potter ! 

Spinach wraps filled with Cucumber and Pesto with Peach, Tomato, Mozzarella and crouton salad

Bulghur tabbouleh with halloumi & pomegranate, Potato pesto cherry tomato & herb salad, Green salad with avocado, strawberries & Feta and mulled wine 

 Watermelon and mint infused water

Zucchini loaf, Israeli couscous & cherry salad, roasted carrots with yoghurt & dukkah dressing

...and each night a little bit of that pavlova roulade which seems to have become a traditional part of Christmas now.

We were spoilt with gifts, and enjoyed watching Christmas movies which are also becoming a tradition - can you wear out a DVD with too much playing ?

Today then is the first day to start sorting boxes which have been moved, and moved again and never opened. Maybe I might even find my missing linen ! Time to reorganise the chaos and sell some of the items which can be replaced when need be. 

I am going to have to limit my online distractions too - or nothing will get done. But, there have been many family discoveries in the last month and they keep niggling away at me to find more out.

So, December

There seems to have been a whole lot of nothing happening this month - but a whole lot of something too.

There have been days when it truly felt like summer was here - even the coconut oil in the pantry thought so, and others where it has been decidedly nippy.

There have been jobs to apply for and interviews to go to...and still no offers. Always the bridesmaid it seems. Maybe next year ?

There has been some organisation - Christmas cards posted on the first of the month, and masses of disorganisation too - shopping and wrapping right up 'til Christmas Eve. 

There have been new Christmas Lights to discover, and friends to see. Baking to bake and traditions to keep.

There have been cats to befriend and dinners to enjoy, beaches to discover and concerts to enjoy