#52Stories, Week 11, Do you like to dabble in lots of different hobbies ? Or do you have one primary pastime that takes up most of your free hours and energy ?

I like to do all sorts of things. Time however just runs away. There just isn't enough of it. And working uses up so much time where I could be doing the things I love.

So if there was time, and having to work for a living wasn't a necessary evil, these are the things I enjoy:

baking

cardmaking

knitting

cross stitch, tapestry, embroidery

walking/hiking

reading

travelling

In the past I have also collected stamps and postcards, I have written letters to penfriends all around the world.

These days though it seems my free time is consumed by family history. Researching, discovering, connecting and reconnecting. I love it.

#52Stories, Week 10, Do you know the story of how your parents met and fell in love ? What about your grandparents ?

I know that Dad met Mum when he was working at Whakamaru or Maraetai and living in the single men's quarters, Mum was still at high school in Mangakino. Before she left home to study nursing and while he was still studying engineering - working in construction of hydro stations on the Waikato river.

What about the next generation back ? Why didn't I ask this question years ago ?? 

My maternal grandparents must have met in Christchurch somewhere. My Uncle thought they had met at Coleridge hydro power station when it was under going a construction expansion; that Nana was working at the hostel and Grandad was living in the single men's quarters. Mum thought that Nana had worked at a dentist surgery in Christchurch before she married.

Their wedding certificate gives their addresses as Merivale and Riccarton. Grandad's parents lived in Middleton Road Riccarton, so I know that part is right.

Nana had only arrived in New Zealand on November 1st, 1929. She arrived in Auckland and travelled by train then ferry and another train to Greymouth on the West Coast where her sister and husband had settled after arriving in New Zealand in 1926, and where there was a now baby niece to get acquainted with.

So at some point before December 1931 she must have moved back to Christchurch for employment. Grandad was a Fitter, he had completed his apprenticeship with P & D Duncan Ltd in Christchurch. Did they simply meet on the tram ? Merivale and Riccarton aren't that far apart. At a dance ? at church ? or at the dentist ? or did Nana know someone who knew the family ? Mum says he was in a band and played xylophone and maybe sax too, all his siblings played instruments as well...I guess we will just have to keep supposing now though.

As for my paternal grandparents - same thing. 

Nana worked for a time as a waitress in Auckland while she studied shorthand typing at night school. She later worked for Ellis & Burnand in Hamilton. Her sister Maude worked at the Central Waikato Electric Power Board. So did Pop. Did Maude introduce them ? Or again did they meet at a dance, or church ? 

Both of their families lived in Hamilton East. There were also lots of people in the timber trade in both families; builders and saw-millers. Did they meet by chance that way through relatives doing business together ? or through Nana's work at Ellis & Burnand ? More supposing to do.

Some people keep diaries. I used to, now I blog intermittently. Nana Davys did, but I don't think we will find anything in any of them to solve this question. But wouldn't it be grand if we could uncover these facts 

"April 1, met someone today. He seems kind and thoughtful, just the sort of person I hope I will marry one day."

But no.

For generations further back there are stories about how some met, others can be pieced together through census locations and social times. But we will never know for sure.

The lesson here is to ask while you still can. Record the answers and tell others your own story and theirs to pass on and enrich the history of your family for the next generations.

History is not just in the distant past, it is yesterday. What you do today will be history tomorrow. Somebody some time in the future will be interested in our lives too, and what we did, and how we interacted with each other. How the global or local events impacted our lives.

#52Stories, Week 9, What were your favourite hobbies and pastimes from childhood ? Are you still pursuing any of them ?

I'm swapping week 9 & 10 around while I do some research on what is now week 10's topic.

Pastimes and hobbies is the topic for week 9.

I collected stamps for a while, diligently soaking them off the envelopes and putting them in to a stamp album. There were lots of letters and bills arriving in people's letterboxes then. Not so much now, except at Christmas. So I imagine stamp collecting must be a fast disappearing hobby. Dad collected stamps too - there are suitcases of them waiting forlornly for someone to sort them or sell them, or just look at them without feeling overwhelmed by the sheer size of the task.

I had piano lessons, belonged to a gymnastics club and a roller-skating club. I joined Brownies.I drew house plans on the spare plan paper Dad bought home from work. I knitted, sort of. 

Mum and Nana both knitted and were willing teachers, even when I dropped stitch after stitch for rows on end and sometimes made more stitches than required instead. I think the first garment I completed myself was a striped longline jumper with an oversized polo neck when I was about 14.

I wrote letters (it fed my stamp collection) and collected penfriends around the world and across New Zealand too. Mataura, Milton, Nelson and further afield Mauritius, Switzerland, France, Japan, Rhodesia (yes I am that old - Zimbabwe now), England, USA, Australia. Apart from friends and family I only correspond with one penfriend these days. Debby from Rhode Island; penfriends for over 40 years, and yet to meet.

I tried embroidery, because Nana did some and there were some incomplete attempts of Mums in the spare room at Nana's. I embroidered the bottom of my flares - it was the thing to do in the 70's - and some of my old school shirts.

I read as many books as I could lay my hands on. We went to the library every week, and I saved money to buy my own paperbacks, or was given novels at birthdays and Christmas.

We did jigsaws and crosswords as a family, learning new words and problem solving at the same time.

What do I still do ? 

Read - not as much, but I still love getting lost in the pages of a good book (not a kindle)

I try to write letters, mostly they are typed though, not longhand, and often only at Christmas. But I am going to change that and may the postal companies remember what they are supposed to be doing.

I knit, not as much as I would like, but I do. Mostly baby things.

Embroidery is the same, and cross stitch which I taught myself and did masses of in the early 90's. One day I will have time again.

I was a Brownie, Pippin and Adult leader with GirlGuiding New Zealand for 18 years - and some days I really miss the friendship and the activities and the girls.

I make cards, although most of my making stuff is packed away in boxes, so it doesn't happen so much right now. Except for Christmas.

I bake. If I have all the time in the world there is nothing I enjoy more than baking. Actually, it's been a while since I whipped up a batch of shortbread. Hmmm, there's a plan for my next free weekend.

#52Stories, Week 8, What have been the most important and valued friendships of your life ?

These two, these are them.

I've already told you how important and special Jo has been as a friend through my whole life.

My other bestie was Donna. We had a bunch of fun after we met in Sydney back in 1980 !

I had gone to Sydney in 1979 with another friend and ended up flatting with her sisters for 12 months. Things were good there, and we parted friends when they returned to New Zealand. I needed to find myself a new place to live with the minimal belongings I owned.

My initial thought was to find a place on my own, I'd done living with other people by then. But, that isn't what happened and it was probably the best thing ever as I ended up with a bunch of friends who came from all sorts of backgrounds, and from all around Australia.

I moved into a boarding house. I applied for a room in one in Homebush, which was a lovely old villa with wide verandahs. But ended up with a room in Campsie. The guy who owned the boarding houses - at least three in Sydney, staffed them with a housekeeper. In this case the housekeeper from Homebush was relocating to Campsie and she had picked which boarders should move with her.

Sue, the housekeeper did all the cooking and cleaning through the week and ensured there was food for us all to feed ourselves over the weekends. She and her husband and 3 kids lived onsite.

When I first moved in I shared a room with a girl named Liz. She was from near Newcastle (Red Head I think). She was only there a few weeks before moving back home. Our room could sleep three, and just before Liz left another girl moved in. Her boyfriend dropped her off with her things. 

It wasn't long before we were inseparable, as thick as thieves. We had so much fun, playing cards, drinking (just a bit), playing pool, weekends in Forster, weekends and late nights shopping or just hanging out. She was younger than me but that didn't matter. We moved to another boarding house in Hurstville and were roomies again there. 

We bought a car for $50 off one of our housemates, it had failed it's permit inspection thingie because it had a hole in the muffler. We fixed it by supergluing a 5 cent piece over the hole. Lots of fun times were had driving around in Bertha.

Swimming at Wanda beach in the middle of June. What ?! Were we crazy ?? I think maybe.

Later when I was living in Bexley she moved in too. Then when we were living in Queensland, so was she. There was never a dull moment with her around, and so many laughs.

I don't know how we managed to stay in touch with no cellphones. We both moved around a lot, but the mail always got through.

When we moved back from Adelaide to Sydney we stayed with her and her little family. Our truck full of furniture - and two cats - parked out the back until we moved into our own place.

She was always there for me, my only actual dinkum bestie the entire time I lived in Australia, and both times I moved back to New Zealand we kept our connection strong. Trips to the zoo with our babies, shopping, coffee or just sitting chatting and passing the time. ALWAYS catching up when I visited Sydney, staying sometimes and others just arriving at the door and saying "SURPRISE !!"

We went through a lot together, I don't know what I would have done without her when I was a brand new Mum, living far away from my family. We had differences, but never arguments. She made the BEST cheesecake. She did ironing to earn a bit of extra money - anyone who willingly does ironing deserves a medal in my book. 

Life takes such unexpected turns sometimes, and all of a sudden she was gone. Taken from her family and her friends too soon. She always had a smile, and her family were her world. I miss her so much.

A Tree Church on a farm, in a garden

That's where I went today. 

It had been on the list for a wee while. While I am not sure I would go again and pay $15 to walk around a garden, it was a lovely setting. 

It would be great for a wedding, and indeed I think it is booked most Saturdays for that purpose. The sky visible through the leaves and branches above your head, and fantails flitting amongst said branches.

Today though we happened to be there when a bunch of middle-aged women had taken over the church and were sat chatting and chortling away. It sort of took away the serenity and tranquility of the place. As we left a busload of old age pensioners arrived and they filled the church. We never got to just sit and immerse ourselves in the peace and quiet, as one would in most churches.

It could do with a wee cafe in the seating area, under trees near the office and away from the special-ness of the church itself.

#52Stories, Week 7, Who was your first best friend ? Are you still in contact with each other ? What do you remember about the friendship.

I really am running behind schedule with this !! But I WILL complete the challenge,

Anyway, who was my first best friend ? 

I had friends at kindergarten and at school who I used to have play dates with after school and in the holidays, and there were the girls next door who I played with mostly at weekends.

But, best friends ?

I think it would be Jo. 

We were buds at Miropiko Kindergarten, she was Joanna then. We went to different primary schools, not miles apart - but far enough that we didn't bump into each other at all.

At Peachgrove Intermediate some seven years later we met up again. By this time she was Joey, she still is to my Dad.

We had lots of fun, in class, at lunch times, after school and at weekends. At Intermediate we got to take cooking and sewing class. Jo was a whizz at sewing ! I was extremely jealous as it seemed I had inherited my Mum's genes and sewing frustrated me. Like Mum I did a lot of "negative sewing". Later though, away from school I did manage to overcome some of the frustration, and these days, if needs must - I can sew with the best of them. (well maybe not THE best, but there isn't as much negativity going on).

When we moved to Wellington, Jo and I became pen pals. In the school holidays she once came and stayed with me, and another time I went and stayed with her. If we visited at other times, I always made sure to meet up with her. 

We continued to write letters all through college, and our early working life. Our first overseas holiday (without parents) was to Fiji for two weeks, just us.

When I moved to Australia we continued to write, I must have used up all the pages in the "D" part of her address book with all the moving around I did ! (Ashfield, Artarmon, Campsie, Hurstville, Werris Creek, Bexley, Oatley, Clontarf, Margate)

When I moved back to NZ briefly in the early eighties, we actually saw each other again. Both married, and Jo with two little girls. I think we still wrote when we were here - long distance phone calls were an extravagance back then, and it was at least a decade before cellphone (bricks) or the internet.

Then it was back across the ditch for me and the writing resumed. Swapping recipes and news from Adelaide and then Sydney again. Then I joined the Mum club and we had more to share and compare. When I visited NZ we caught up again and the girls met each other too.

And so it went on. When I moved back to Hamilton we saw each other more, and then I moved to Wellington. The writing continued, and phone calls too on the odd occasion. New Zealand Post must have LOVED us. Some school holidays I rented a car and we managed to visit.

The internet came along and letters were replaced a bit by emails, and phone calls became cheaper - then text messaging too.

Today, we email, text and facebook each other to keep in contact AND visit.

Jo is the only friend I have constantly kept in contact with for most of my life. Whenever we see each other, it is like we had only seen each other the day before. Nothing is ever awkward. We still laugh about the same things, our interests have changed a little, and our lives have taken different paths, but our friendship has been constant. 

I hope it stays that way.

#52Stories, Week 6, Do you mingle with a large circle of friends, or do you forge deep relationships with just a couple of close friends at a time ?

So February’s topics all are about love, relationships and friends – yay. All things I am an expert on – not.

I thought I’d have a go at some of the friend topics.

Do I have a lot of friends ? Social media would suggest so.

Do I mingle with a large circle of friends ? (like run around town in a pack ?) No.

Do I forge deep relationships with just a couple of friends at a time ? I guess so.

I have been thinking a lot about all of the friend groups I have been a part of growing up. They have mostly been girl groups – maybe that’s why love and relationships remain a mystery to me. Anyway, I'm focusing on the girl groups for now.

My first friends and playmates were the children of my parent’s friends. One was born the same day as me so we had shared parties sometimes. As I got older friendship groups sprouted in various places - mostly there was no crossovers. People were in that group, or in another group.

There were:

Neighbours, kids in the same street, or family friends and cousins

Kindy friends

Classmates

Brownie buddies

Skating friends

Gymnastics mates

Bike buddies

Mostly when I was at primary school these friend groups were all quite separate. I only saw the skating people on a skating night or at a competition, the same with most of the Brownies. Some of them were in my class at school, but maybe not in the same little cluster as me.

At intermediate things changed a little - suddenly there were Kindy friends back in my circle, some girls from Brownies materialised at my new school too. People who had been in my classmate group at primary school moved into other groups, and their places were taken by new people who had come from other primary schools.

Then at the end of 1972 some of my classmates became part of my growing penfriend group, as we moved to Wellington. I had to start again. Over time I had

Girls' friends - who attended Wellington Girls' with me

Train buddies

Rangers

Soccer teamies

Netball teamies

Some of these friends came along with me after school when I entered the big wide working world, others vanished and became distant memories. Then I had a variety of workplace buds (over time)

Bank of New Zealand peeps

Medical Benefits Fund people who welcomed me in Sydney

Mutual Acceptance acquaintances

New Zealand Electricity Corporation mates (young and old)

Westpac buddies - the CBA and the Wales'

the Yellow family

the Corrections crew

the international bunch at Hawkins

intermingled with these and sometimes crossing over like venn diagrams are supposed to 

Parentline Hamilton,

Hamilton Day Care

Girlguiding Wellington; Pencarrow and New Zealand

Wellington Cruise Ambassadors

Plus there were the flatties in Sydney, the roomies and housemates, and just like my parents - things went full circle and sometimes the parents of friends of my daughter became my friends.

Donna M, Jo, Nini, Dot, Ann, Mary, Coralie, Jillian, Kay, Beverley, Cynthia, Maureen, Diane,Marie, Sheryl, Sadie, Faith, Jan, Denise, Lynette, Carey, Susie B, Susie B, Robyn H, Robyn W, Debra W, Debra W, Elva, Joy, Donna R, Julie K, Bernice, Donna J, Margaret, Linda T, Maree T, Linda R, Sue, Patsy, Nell, Juliana, Helen, Michelle, Barbara, Claire, Sigrun, Joanne, Jane, Beverley, Lynne, Debra B, Debra N, Debbie H, Deborah S, Vicky, Barbara, Christine, Ruth, Louise S, Selina, Sue H, Sue G, Josette, Heather S, Linda P, Sue C, Debbie F, Karen, Lynne, Sue, Tracey, Trish M, Cushla, Prue, Heather L, Fiona M, Megan, Michelle, Cathy, Cath, Debbie C, Astrid, Donna S, Jan, Angie, Louise, Sue, Yvonne, Jenny, Trish D, Debbie W, Paula, Lee, Sasulu, Jamina, Shelley, Ann M, Ann M, Linda K, Linda B, Kim J, Kim B, Rachael J, Cindy, Sheila, Kirsty, Jacinta, Jacqui, Ruth, Kate, Emma, Livvy, Belinda, Lizzie, Becs, Trish C, Michelle, Sarah M, Lianna, Carol, Julie B, Lynda T, Tanya, Grace, Fran, Coral, Cheryl, Margaret, Fiona, Rae, Shell, Penny, Julia, Monique, Glennie, Trish P, Louise, Louise, Anna, Nicki, Nicola, Diane, Sue B, Julie F, Jill, Carri, Leonie, Colleen, Nikki, Nicola, Cheryl, Margaret, Pam, Ann-Marie, Judy, Carolyn, Katy, Rhonda, Marianne, Pamela, Michelle, Sarah M, Sarah C, Miriam, Lara, Carol-ann, Yuan...and probably masses more I will remember as soon as I hit "publish".